and we smile through our tears - One month!!!

Poor Baby- after she got her purple medicine

I have a lot of stuff to talk about in this blog and I hope I can get it all typed before she wakes up... (Yeah it didn't happen it took me a couple of days to type this.)

It has been 4 weeks since she was born.. I say it is a month but edwin said she was not officially a month until the 8th sooo tomorrow she will be a month old. This week has been a roller coaster of emotions. Since she was born she has had a white coating on her tongue. We asked the doctor about it and he said it was normal and should go away over time but if it didn't we were to let him know. So we monitored it and the white coating kept getting thicker and thicker and also transferred onto her cheeks and lips. On sunday night she was sooo fussy. She would not breastfeed or bottle feed and would not take a binky. When I finally got her to sleep she started sucking on her hand and her finger scraped her tongue. She screamed sooo loud I felt sooo bad for her. lets just say i cried right along with her. It is so hard to see your little baby in pain especially when you can't fix it. It was such a long night and Edwin had to go back to work the next morning so he needed to get some sleep. This is where I am going to break up my blog a little bit.

Her doctors appointment-

I called the doctor on monday morning and they got me in at 2:00 that afternoon. The morning was really stressfull. With mom and Edwin gone it was just me who had to deal with the tears and the fussy baby. On top of that she was the fussiest she had ever been because she was sick. At one point I didn't know if I was cut out for this "mom " thing. When we got to the doctor as soon as he walked in I burst into tears and handed her over. I told he he had to fix her. LOL

He got this concerned look on his face and was like.."Are you okay? Do you feel depressed?" NOOOO just exhausted and stressed and we need medication! So he checked her out and determined that she did have a bad case of thrush. This bad case of thrush has also passed onto me (This makes your breasts have horrible shooting pains and it is sooo itchy) For those of you who do not know Thrush is basically a yeast infection but in the mouth. It is uncomfortable and painful. The doctor gave her this purple medicine that dyed her whole mouth purple. (I will post a pic) He also prescribed Nystatin for me and for her to take for ten days. I have to soak all of her bottles and binkies in vinegar every night and wash all of my bras and anything tht comes in contact with her mouth in vinegar. (This is just added to the many things I can't find time to do anymore.) And last but not least she has a little yeast infection in her diaper area so I have to put Clotrimozole 3 times a day on her little bottom. Poor thing! The doctor was impressed with her weight she was 9 lbs 2 oz! she has gained almost two pounds since she was born.

When we got home she was sleeping so soundly and pretty much slept that whole day and evening away. I could tell the next day she was feeling so much better because she was smiling and happy again and able to eat without gagging or crying.

My Doctor's Appointment - Might have to much info so skip this paragraph if you want!

This week I have been having really bad back pain. Because Malaika was sick she wanted to be held so much more. She also wanted to be rocked to sleep. At times it was SO hard because my back would be killing me and if I tried to sit down she would cry. I also had a foul odor from my discharge. (which is something that the doctor said to contact them about) So I called my doctor on Tuesday and they said they waned to get me in ASAP. When I got there they weighed me and I only have 4 more pounds to lose!!!! That was a relief ( I obviously have much more than that to lose but it feels good to have my body back) The doctor took some swabs and tested them and said that my bacteria has changed. She gave me some medicine to take and I am supposed to let her know how everything is at my 6 week post appointment. (December 27)

Other than that the doctor said everything looked okay. She did refer me to a nutritionist because I told her I wanted to learn how to eat the right things to provide the best nutrients for Malaika. She said she would refer me so insurance would pay.. YAY!

My first week without Edwin

well... it definately had its ups and downs but I made it! It was a lot more stressful because she was sick but I am getting used to giving her the medicine and the house smells like vinegar!

My main struggle this week has been breast feeding. I pretty much gave up when she had thrush really bad because it hurt sooo much to nurse. So I was pumping as much as I could and supplementing the rest of the time. Today was the first day I have been able to nurse all day long without any pain. I do have to say pumipng is SOOO much easier sometimes I wish I could just to formula completely but I know that breastfeeding will halp my body as well as hers. so we will keep MARCHIN ON!

On a lighter note I have almost all of my Christmas shopping done!!! I wrapped all of edwins presents last night. We are trying to save our money this Christmas because with the new car (we got a 07 camry! Sorry Shanti we let go of the honda) I am still not working and we only paid rent until the end of January. I can't believe I have been out of work for almost 3 months already. It has been a big three months!

Hope everyone is enjoying the holidays!

Ready for Christmas

Just wanted to post a picture of our tree we got today!!! It was fun to decorate and we also got a Baby's first Christmas stocking. I love Christmas!

week 3 - Amazed

BEWARE - EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE, SLEEP DEPRIVED BLOG

Week three was a very emotional week for me. This was edwins last week to be home (he goes back to work on December 3rd) I don't know how I am going to do everything. He leaves usually around 6:30 am (probably 6:00 with the bad weather) for work and he and mom don't get home until around 6 pm. I know that the motherly instinct will kick in and I can do it but I also know when they get home they are both going to be tired and Edwin is going to need sleep. UGH! Here come the water works again. Hopefully I will get over it and just make it happen. All I can picture right now is me sitting there looking like a zombie and crying. LOL

I have also been emotional about her growing... haha you would think I would be excited that she is now fitting into her newborn and 0-3 month clothing but I just think of how my mom must feel and how time flies by so quick. I just want to cherish every moment. (BUT then the night comes and I wish she was 5 years old sleeping through the night in her own bed.. hehe IRONIC)

Enough about me and my emotions lets talk about our little princess... SHE IS SO CUTE!

This week we have enjoyed spending time with her. We are starting to really understand what she needs and so it gets easier to calm and soothe her. We are still supplementing with formula sometimes I feel like she is permanantly attached to my boob all afternoon, but then she is still hungry! So formula is my hero for the time being. I am able to pump about 8 ounces a day so we try to pump and save those so eventually we can just use my breast milk inbeteen my nursing. I have been taking herbs to help increase my milk supply and that seems to be working. The lactation specialist also told me to drink a beer or a glass of wine in the evenings to help with my let down. I was scared to do this at first because I didn't really see any pro's but it is working and helping me relax at night. BUT I promise only one glass.. even though I would love to have a whole bottle sometimes.

Thanksgiving was a lot of fun this year. Pretty relaxed. I was so thankful that my mom was here to help cook (actually I only did the mash potatoes) We had Susanna, my mom, edwin, holly, and musonda here. we ate until we could not eat anymore and then watched TV. We laughed because when I went to feed Malaika she was really excited about the feeding, sucking like crazy, so I guess she wanted to have her pumpkin pie too!

On friday we went to the mall for some black friday shopping... HECTIC! I stood in line at Bath and body works for amost an hour. I got a cute little hat at baby gap that was on clearance. Then of course we had to stop by MAC and have them do my eye shadow.

My Dad and his girlfriend Cindy came that night and stayed for the weekend it is so great to see my dad interact with her. I can tell he thinks she is pretty special. I think him and Cindy will be GREAT grandparents to her. Cindy got her some cute little outfits and an eeyore stuffed animal.

It was hard when they left because I could tell my dad was sad and he really didn't want to leave her. I hope the winter is not to long so we can drive over to LaGrande and spend some more time with him.

Okay back to Malaika... we gave her her first official bath this week (the umbilical cord FINALLY came off) I was surprised how much she liked it. At first she cried but then once she was in the waer she was kicking and wiggling around it was sooo cute! Then when we took her out she cried!

She seems to love time with DADDY. She will just stare at him like she is mesmerized by him. He plays with her and kisses her and she always smiles this BIG smile.I love it when she smiles.

One thing that she has been doing a lot of is GRUNTING! It is cute during the day but a little annoying at night. She does it when she is awake and when she is asleep. Sometimes it is a poopy grunt but other times it is just an I want to make noise grunt. at night it wakes me up and I check on her and she is fast asleep.. LOL

She is an amazing baby! we have been so blessed. We can take her out to nice resteraunts ( we went to Olive garden last night) and she sleeps or just sits there and stares at everyone. I can't wait to see how much she is going to change overtime.

Last but not least i can fit back into my old jeans!!! Hooray! I tried them on this morning and they fit perfectly! I can't wait for my 6 week appt to see how much weight I have lost. Oh.. and I also dyed my hair brown... I needed a change Thats all folks! Have a great week

Week two - getting to know you

week two has come and gone and we have learned soooo much about our little baby girl. She is amazing! We are still not on a great sleep schedule yet BUT it is getting better. It is so hard to put her down I feel like I will miss out on a smile or a special face that she does sooo many of. We have visitors during the day (which we love so don't worry if you were one of them. I wil say no if we are not up to it!) so she usually sleeps through those visits and then wakes up right when they leave. IMAGINE THAT! Her time to really sleep seems to be from 12 to 4 or 5 this will come in handy when Edwin goes back to work so I can rest and clean and cook dinner. We are able to set her down now when she sleeps as long as she is in a dead sleep when we set her down. If she is not then she stirs and wakes herself up.

My milk is coming in better now I am trying to pump every couple of hours. The doctor gave me some herbs to try to increase my milk supply and that seems to be working well. We are only giving her 2 to 4 oz of formula a day now and that is starting to dwindle down. We had her 2 week appt on wed and they pricked her heel to test for any disorders or diseases. I was so nervous because they had me hold her and breast feed her while they did it. I thought she was going to think I did it to her and she would hate me! LOL As soon as they pricked her she reared her head back and her face turned bright red I quickly moved her head forward and latched her back on and she started to eat and forgot all about it. YAY! The magic of food! hehe

She has gained up to 8lbs 3oz and the doctor said everything is going great. Our next appt will be in 2 months (Jan 8th which is also edwins birthday) so it will be interesting to see how much she grows in that time.

Some of the things she did this week-

* She can follow objects with her eyes! My mom is amazed with this because she said babies don't usually do this at 2 weeks (Grandma's always think their grandbabies are the brightest.. hehe) But I do think she is pretty well developed for her age. I held up a toy and she followed it and I can move my head back and forth and she will follow me. I even held up a piece of chocolate I was eating and she watched it (I saw a little drool come out too! hehe)

* She lifts up her head and looks around. we tried to do some tummy time to see what she would do and she lifted up her head and looked from side to side. sooo CUTE!

*she holds her bottle (this cracks me upI posted a picture above) We were feeding her one night and I had to grab a blanket so I let go of the bottle for a second and there she was holding on to it and keeping it high enough for the milk to stay at the top. It was so cute! No mom we don't leave her alone like that it is just cute to watch.

*She is smiling at us when we make funny faces or when we give her kisses. It used to be that she only smiled when she was sleeping (she still does this) now she smiles with her eyes wide open!

I think that is about it I am amazed by how beautiful she is and how much she changes daily. I hope that edwin and I can be the best parents for her and teach her so many things. We love her sooo much!

Week one- sleep?

Week one went by so fast I didn't even know what day it was half of the time. We really enjoyed the time though. I just kept looking at her and could not believe that we had created this little angel. She is soooo beautiful! When she sleeps she smiles and I can see her dimples it is so cute! Edwin and I are trying to get on a sleep schedule but I don't think it is working very well. She doesn't like to be set down in her cradle or the co-sleeper hat we bought. She will wake up immediately and start crying. We tried to let her stay for a little bit to see if she would fall back to sleep and no such luck. The boppy seems to be my only rescue I can set her down when she is in a deep sleep and then get up and go to thebathroom or do the dishes. My mom has been a huge help! She babysat for us one night so edwin and I could sleep at the same time for a few hours. I never realized how precious sleep was until I am only getting like 2 to 4 hours in a day.

When she was three days old we needed some stuff from target and edwin thought it would be a good idea to get out of the house. Sooo my mom said she would watch her so we could go there and get back quick. When we got to target and started walking around I got so depressed. I just wanted to be with her! I started crying..LOL Edwin was like OH GEEZ! I think I cry more now then I did when I was pregnant. When we got home all I could do was hold her and squeeze her and give her lots of kisses.

She had her first doctors appointment on Monday 12th the doctor weighed her and she was 7lbs 9 oz so she hadn't lost to much weight. They went over breast feeding with me. I was having such a hard time because I had her latched on wrong in the beginng. I was cracked and bleeding and I dreaded every feeding. So they gave me a sheild and she seems to be doing good with that. Breastfeeding is one of the hardest things I have ever done though I can see why it is hard to keep going. We are chugging along though I am supplementing with Formula and trying to pump as much as possible but I am only getting 1 to 2 oz every time I pump. I hope the milk supply will increase soon.

We went to babies r us and bought her some premie clothes because she doesn't fit into any of the clothes we have for her. She swims in them and I am always rollingup her sleeves and trying to find her in the sea of clothing. One of the outfits we bought says daddy's girl on it and it is sooo dainty it looks so cute! Of course as soon as we put it on she had a blowout.. But a little laundry soap fixed that. hehe

Well that is all for now for week one... It is almost the end of week two and I can't believe how much she has changed!!! I love her sooo much more everyday and I can't believe how blessed we are to have her in our lives.

D-DAY

Malaika Aiyanna Mwango
7lbs 14 oz
21 inches long
head was 14 CM

WOW... time is flying by and I decided I needed to take the time and write about the delivery before I forgot everything. I know... I know I should be sleeping... YEAH RIGHT! LOL I will probably have a lot of information and maybe some details you don't want to hear soooo.... I guess if you want to read on you can!


With all of the family stress going on my doctor and I decided that we could go ahead and induce me a little early so that my family would all be here for the birth. She scheduled me to be induced Tuesday November 7th at midnight.

When I met with my doctor she had given me three options of drugs to get induced with. The first one is pitoson which is the one we knew the most about and the other two were tablets (one was called cytotec and I don't remember the other name). These tablets are inserted vaginally and placed next to the cervix to help ripen it to speed up delivery. The doctor recommended that we try Cytotec so I signed the paper work to use what she thought was best. When edwin got home we did some research on the drug and started to get nervous. The drug is used mainly for ulcers and for abortions. There was not a lot of information on its use in induction. So we decided we would go with Pitoson because it is what we had heard the most about.

Edwin decided to go ahead and start his leave on Tuesday so that we could clean up the house and make sure we had everything packed. With everything that was going on I was pretty much a stress ball (and I was pretty cranky... poor Edwin) We were advised to contact the birthing center at 11:00 pm to make sure they were ready for me. So around 8 I went upstairs and took a long shower and made sure to straighten my hair (picture perfect... hehe wish it would have stayed that way!) at 11 we called the hospital and my stomach was in knots. The nurse advised me that they actually had no room for me that night and I would need to call in around 7:30 to see if there was more room. With all the stress and getting myself mentally prepared to actually go in and get induced I was soooo upset they told me they didn't have room. Of course I cried hen we decided we better get some rest. (worst night of sleep, or so I thought) At 7:30 I woke up and and called and the nurse advised once again that they still did not have room. So Edwin decided he would head into work so that he didn't waste his leave on days when the baby wasn't here. I was soooo upset. I understand that they do not know when their "busy" times will be but it is so stressful to plan on going in and then get told twice that they have no room! Sheesh!
Edwin got to work around 9:00 and at 9:30 the hospital called me and said that if I got there within ten minutes they would have a room for me. PHEW! So I called Edwin (poor guy) and my mom and I headed out to the hospital.

My mom and I got to the hospital and were admitted and in the room by 10:00. The nurse came in and hooked me up to the monitors and the baby’s heartbeat was loud and strong. She also said I was having contractions about five minutes apart. I thought that was funny because I was not feeling anything. I kept telling my mom that I wish I knew what they felt like. The nurse checked me and I was dilated 1 CM and 50% effaced, no changes from my previous doctor appointments. I told the nurse that my husband and I had changed our mind on the Cytotec and we wanted to use Pitoson. She was hesitant and said we would need to talk with the doctor before we made the decision. Edwin got there around 10:45 and at that time we were told the doctor would be over in a few hours so I would need to rest and kill some time. The Doctor (not my regular doctor) came in around 11:45 and explained the drug options to us. She said that she preferred to use the cytotec before pitoson because my cervix was not ripe enough. If they put me on Pitoson right away it could make my contractions to strong to fast. Soooo after all that waiting we ended up going with Cytotec.

At 12:00 they inserted the tablet, I hen had to lay flat on the bed (my head could not even be propped up) for 3 hours, after three hours I had to get up and walk for an hour and then they checked me… I was still 1 CM and 50% UGH! So they inserted the tablet again. By this time I was having contractions every 3 min (still not feeling anything) so I was down for another 3 hours and then walked for an hour. My mom and my brother and Edwin were there with me and made fun of me because I was walking in circles in the room. The nurse came in and checked me again and I was only dilated 2-3 CM about 60% effaced. By this time the contractions were pretty strong (according to the monitor I still could not feel them) so they were now ready for me to start the Pitoson drip. I was thankful to not have to lay flat for another three hours.

Around 9:00 I started to have some pain (like heavy menstrual cramps) They picked up and were coming pretty strong and frequent. I started complaining to Edwin and he helped me breath through them. The nurse checked me and I was still at a tight 3… by now I am tired of being there and feeling like this is going to take FOREVER! She asked me if I would like any pain meds and I said that would be nice. She gave me stadol around 10:00 and let me say that drug is AMAZING! I felt like a warm blanket was placed over me and while I could still feel the contractions the pain was very little and I was able to sleep. Unfortunately the drug wore off in an hour that is when the nurse advised me that I could have an epidural if I wanted to. OF COURSE I DO! I am only at a three! The anesthesiologist came in at 11:30 and gave me the epidural. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. I was so nervous and I could feel my body shaking like crazy. He was quick and very good. After about fifteen minutes I was feeling no pain! They hooked me up to the blood pressure cuff and it went off every 10 to 15 minutes. I tried to sleep in between that time (which is pretty hard to do) Mom and Tony had gone home and Edwin tried to sleep on the couch they had for him. Around 4 I started to have really bad pain the nurse said it was called the peritoneal region and sometimes the epidural cannot numb that as well. She checked me and I was at a 5-6 and 80% effaced. She said the doctor was there and she would come in around 6 to check me and break my water. The contractions were pretty strong and I was feeling them for sure! Edwin had to help me breath through them and I have to say he is the most AMAZING coach he made sure to stay right there with me. The anesthesiologist came in and turned up the dosage on the epidural and we hoped that would take the pain away. No such luck! Finally the doctor came in and checked me and I was at a 6. She broke my water and said the fluid looked clear and good that was at 6:30. After my water broke I could feel more pressure and I told the nurse that I felt like I needed to push a little. She told me not to just because the baby was not quite ready. Edwin and I continued to breathe through the contractions and we called my mom and told them they should come. At 7:00 the nurse checked me and I was dilated to an 8... ALMOST THERE! The contractions were so strong and painful they tried to up my dosage again and that still didn’t help. I told Edwin I didn’t think I could do this anymore the pain was so strong and my body was shaking really bad. But he helped calm me down. When my mom got there she helped rub my leg and told me to breathe. She was a huge help to because she was able to calm us both down a little bit. She was also there to take lots of pictures (which I will post some of them soon... I need to find the memory card...lol) At 7:45 the nurse came in and said I was ready to go! She had me push through 2 contractions (They were about a minute apart) Pushing was hard because I was soooo tired and my legs were pretty numb from the epidural. Mom had to support one leg and Edwin the other. The nurse went and got the doctor and I did 2 pushes while she was gone. Mom and Edwin said they could see the baby’s hair and it was black! That gave me more incentive to keep going. The doctor came in and got down to business (she had a surgery to do at 8:30) I asked her how long it can take to push and she said for new moms it can take up to 3 hours… Talk about bursting my bubble! She coached me through my pushing and the baby was out by 8:15! Thank you JESUS! It was nice that the epidural had wore off a little because I could feel her head come out and then her shoulders. It was such a relief when her shoulders came out. The pressure and pain was gone and I felt relaxed. The doctor did a couple of stitches (she said I did not tear too much) and she was gone by 8:25... What team work! When Malaika came out they put her up on my chest and I was so amazed to see what Edwin and I had created. She was so beautiful! Edwin cut the cord and I told the nurses I wanted him to be the first to hold her. They took her and cleaned her off and Edwin went over and watched everything while my mom took pictures. Malaika Aiyanna Mwango weighed 7lbs 14 oz and was 21 inches long her head was 14 CM.
It was the most amazing experience I have ever been involved with. When we looked at her face we saw little pieces of each of us and we were so blessed to have her in our lives. It is so amazing how much love you can have for someone who just came into this world. I am so excited to be able to be a part of her life and to help her grow up to be a beautiful woman. I just hope this time does not go to fast.
That day we were so tired but we wanted to show her off to the family. My Brother was there and he was so good with her. My mom (Grandma!) and then Edwin’s brother and girlfriend came. Around 12 we asked the nurses that they let any visitors know we are trying to rest and they should come back in the evening. My grandparents came and my Aunt hazel later that night. Edwin and I were trying to get the hang of changing her diapers and feeding her towards the evening she started getting a little fussier. The nurse came in and asked if we wanted her to baby-sit so we could get some rest… I was so tired I was so thankful for that! The next morning they came in and checked me and said if I wanted to go home I could. Edwin was more than excited to hear those words! My dad finally got to the hospital to see her before we left it was so cute to see him hold her. He was so scared! Edwin and I packed everything up and headed downstairs to load her in the car. We finally got her adjusted right in the car seat and then headed home with our new FAMILY!
I will continue to update about our first week soon. I have been trying to keep up on my homework and sleep before finals week is here. We have had lots of visitors and it has been so fun to show her off to everyone. Thank you all for your prayers and support through all of this. It was a hectic week and Edwin and I feel so blessed that everything went well and we have a happy healthy baby girl!

New induction date...

Well some of you will be excited about this and some of you won't.. BUT I talked to my doctor a little bit ago and we are going to induce my labor sooner than monday. I really want my dad and my brother to see her and I want my family to all be here together. It means a lot to me! My dad has until the 11th off and my brother has to fly back to kansas on the 11th in the morning. My original induce date was the 12th. SOOOOO.. my doctor wants to induce me tomorrow night at midnight. That way we have time (she said it will take roughly 24 hours) She said that she thinks I am ready (I lost my mucous plug yesterday)
My doctor will not be the one delivering the baby because sh is not on call that night but that doesn't really bother me since I know that they are not going to put me with an unqualified person. So that is our update I don't know how I feel right now.. I am excited but also scared! We are really going to be parents! So keep us in your thoughts and prayers and we will be letting everyone know when she arrives!